Four weeks after my dating app experiment, all but “Tinder” have proven useless. Finding respectable women on “Grindr,” I soon discovered, was a futile endeavor. 

It does take time to match with someone, but even after that moment when you realize a stranger finds you attractive, getting a first date is an entirely different challenge. 

As a male on the app, all my efforts go into not sounding like a creep.  From the initial greeting to the final exchange of numbers, each message goes through an editing process to ensure that I do not sound like I’m out for the hunt. Fortunately for me, my written word is better than my spoken, but I salute the honest men who have gone down in flames because of a misplaced smiley face. 

I have not lost hope for “Tinder,” however, because its concept cuts to realities of dating so much that those who hold themselves to a higher moral standard are scared to even download the app. These are the same people who believe in love at first sight, but are against making instantaneous decisions on potential mates’ best picture.

“Tinder” realizes that we, as humans in the 21st century, are shallow; we do base our initial attractions on looks. There’s no way I can approach a girl whom I’ve never met before and honestly tell her I came over to say hello because I dig her personality. Anyone who tries to tell you that is really saying “The reptilian part of my brain is telling me I want to have sex with you.” 

“Tinder’s” users are well aware of this, and something interesting happens. With the whole “is he attracted to me” question out of the way, matched users can stop the façade of trying to impress the other person and get right down to getting to know them.

In other words, I would argue that people who meet on “Tinder” (and use it right, that is, to emotionally connect with someone) have a better chance at a healthy relationship than do the lovebirds who miraculously met at the bar. 

You can say our grandparents had it easy when it came to dating, but if we took a bird’s eye view on their scope of potential mates, we can probably map out their eventual meeting based on the people they knew. So in that sense, yes, they had it easier.  However, the world of online dating has made it possible to meet your actual soul mate. Simply by going to a different city introduces you to an entirely new pool of potential mates that could direct you to the one, not the one who just so happened to go to the same high school. Try mapping that relationship web out. 

I will admit that plenty of people use “Tinder” for casual sex, and I’m not discrediting that, but I am showing the possibility to revolutionize the world of dating if we all gave it an honest shot. That means, boys, to put it away and ask the girl about her favorite band or what she thinks about death.

Girls, stop assuming every guy wants to stick it to you and ask the guy about his favorite dessert or what he thinks about when he’s alone. We’ve got the opportunity to meet our soulmates, friends, we’ve just got to stop thinking it’s all about getting naked.

Mike Vazquez may be reached at [email protected].